


до свидания

by GhostCwtch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, I am a terrible person, Steve Rogers is the Winter Soldier, Winter Soldier Steve, off screen vaguely alluded to non con, trash party 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1633664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostCwtch/pseuds/GhostCwtch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hates being woken, taken out of the cold where no one asks anything of him, but it's only when he's awake that he can move and pretend that it's his own mind which directs his steps. до свидания means goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	до свидания

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThePeak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeak/gifts).



> I am a terrible person and am loving, LOVING, the trash party that's going on and so had to join in with everyone's favourite worst AU ever.

He hates coming out of the cryo unit. No one bothers him in the cold and it's peaceful. No orders, no discomfort, no aching from the metal reinforcement welded into the bones of his left arm. Being taken out hurts, the air itself burning hot against his skin as they prep him for whatever mission is important enough to warrant his involvement. The techs who take him out are never strong enough, or never care enough, to catch him as his legs unlock and he falls to the ground. The first thing he knows anytime they call upon him is pain. Things do not improve as he is awake longer, but that is neither here nor there.

 

He has killed techs upon waking before. They only send people they can afford to lose to pry him loose of his stasis, and sometimes he wakes thinking the same thoughts as the moment when he was last frozen. Sometimes he does not catch himself before acting, the programming taking a moment to long to catch up with his reflexes that even he can recognise as super human. It does not matter that these are people his handlers can afford to lose, he is punished viciously for every death that they do not authorise. 

 

His handlers call him Степан and he thinks there may have been someone once who called him Стёпа but isn't sure and knows that to ask is to have even that tiny scrap of possible recollection torn from him. 

 

Even worse than the pain of being woken is the pain of the chair. 

 

He listens as the men tell him that these are targets to be taken out, that he will be expected to take out the traitorous Black Widow, the capitalist pig symbol of hope that is Captain America, and a man few have ever heard of named Nick Fury, the leader of their strongest opposition. These men are not ones he recognises, except for Alex who has grown old, so old, since the last time Степан saw him. Alex has grown paunchy and his hair is more grey than any other color. There are more lines on his face than a part of Степан's mind, the part that notices the angles of light in ways that strangely have little to do with how those angles would affect a shot, would have expected. He thinks of a pencil and charcoal as they lead him to the equipment room, and does not know why. Some times it is like this, when he first wakes up and the mission parameters are not fully settled. Some things disturb the still, dark pool of his mind.

 

Something about the name Captain America itches at the edges of that pool, scratching at the banks, almost like a voice calling out to him. Степан stays silent. Why should that name mean anything to him when his own does not? Why would a voice that sounds so kind be talking to him?

 

The techs dress him, moving his limbs as if he is a doll or a manikin. Maybe he is, maybe he's a wind up doll, the deadliest child's toy in the world. Being dressed like a child would humiliate the men who give him orders, he thinks. They would not allow such control to be in the hands of others, but Степан knows his role and knows the penalties for disobedience. The techs give him his weapons, knives and guns and explosives, and have no fear that he might attack. He has learned his lessons well and some of the older ones have been witness to his conditioning in the past. There is no reason to fear the wind up doll when they're the ones who turn the key.

 

As they seal the half mask to his face and strap the googles into place, his programming fully takes hold. Outside of his gear, sometimes he is things other than the weapon for his masters. Sometimes he serves in other ways, but never when he is fully equipped or when the mask is on. This is as close as he gets to being free and as much as he hates being woken, this makes it nearly worth it. He is not being held down on a bed or put back in the chair and for that, he is nearly grateful. There is nothing in him to care why or who he is killing, only that he is moving without being confined and that any hurts he bears can be returned threefold on the perpetrators. 

 

He thinks that this is part of why he hates his handlers in the secret dark of his mind, at the very bottom of the still pool, hidden well below the surface with no ripples to betray it's presence. He just doesn't like bullies.

 


End file.
